By Audrey Benson
No other person alive, aside from douche-bag Justin Bieber, feels so compelled to send out a global press release every time he farts a thought.
Why must every inane mental bowel movement from this narcissist be shoved in everybody’s face from dusk to dawn?
Musk started out by wearing the same black turtle neck that the dead, rude, abusive Steve Jobs and the Theranos fraudster Elizabeth Holmes adopted as their costumes of self-designated deification.
Musk ripped his black turtle neck when he crashed his brand new one million dollar sports car while trying to impress a gold-digger. He just crawled out of the wreck and went home to his black turtle neck room and put on another one from his vast collection.
Musk has a bit of help in his quest for saint-hood. Musk's crooked investment bankers: Goldman Sachs, have a team of over 50 frat boy executives that help push out Musk-spleege to hype the stock.
Over 100 kids at Russian, Philippine and Brazilian troll farms and click factories pretend to be Tesla "Fanboys" on every blog on Earth in 5 languages. They respond to alerts from Palantir-like search engines that scan the internet every second for any occurrence of the words "Musk" or "Tesla" and get the Fanboy shills to zoom into the blog where that word occurred and type either 1.) something glorious about Musk or 2.) counter-hype against any comments that might expose Musk's sham.
Musk has his fanboy shills use services like: https://www.mediamister.com/ and https://www.buysociallikes.com/ and https://mohrpublicitycart.com/shop/ to create fake followers and the appearance of an army of Rajneesh Cult-type devotees. In reality, there are very few, actually human, Tesla fanboys. They are almost all bots and shills.
Musk's biggest hype team is at Google. Google is a big Musk investor. Google founder Larry Page and Elon Musk have sleep-overs together and exchange special presents. Musk and the Google investors pay for the same DNC political campaigns. Google helps Musk by synchronizing Google's news manipulation to pump Tesla stock market valuations at key points, pumping stock buys into that stock when Tesla stock needs a bump, hiding any news about Musk's competitors, deleting any news that might expose Musk's scam and running subliminal messaging tricks on all phrases, on the internet, that can help the public think that Musk is supernatural.
Musk's Silicon Valley frat boy venture capitalist cartel uses the PR staff from their own VC offices to hype Musk because they are invested in both Tesla and Musk's brand. If Musk fails, their brands and their ownership take in the DNC fails too. The 100% DNC invested Silicon Valley crowd is forever haunted by Mitt Romney's charge that Tesla is one of the biggest examples of Silicon Valley's arrogant failures. The day that Tesla dies and proves Romney right is the day that the Silicon Valley crowd's souls become the blackest.
Elon Musk spends a billion dollars a year to have his PR firms, image consultants and "brand Ambassadors" carefully craft all of this plastic BS about Musk and try to pound it into the mind of every consumer.
Musk has spent an equal amount on plastic surgery including steroids, fake hair (he is bald), implants and other cosmetic changes.
Musk must, must, must have you believe that he is Jesus!